even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize