the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
