The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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