is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
