it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
