yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
