i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize