his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
