I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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