i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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