A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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