Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
