When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
