Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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