my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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