she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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