how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
