Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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