Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
