I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
