I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
