My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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