it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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