Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
