I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Enjoy the penises
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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