I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize