Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
