just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
