Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
