Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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