I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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