So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
