I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Someone shattered a urinal.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
