Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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