i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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