It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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