Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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