I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize