I queefed so loud it echoed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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