we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
