Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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