Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
