Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have already put on my inside pants.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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