So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
