Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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