a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
