If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
