seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
