I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
