Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
