my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
