I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Found your dick twin last night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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