I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
