my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
