she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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