Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
