i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
