She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
