I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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