There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize