butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
